Thank you, Father

I was lost
You found me
At no cost
You enriched me
I was blind
With no help from behind
You showed me Your light
You gave me insight
You gave me this Sight
Thank you, Father
I was empty
You filled me
I was dirty
You cleansed me
I was beaten
With no hope of winning
You repaired my dent
You gave me Your strength
You built me a tent
Thank you, Father
I had no one
You made me the one
I had no hope
You made me their hope
I failed again
With no thing to gain
You helped me regain
All I lost in vain
All I lost to pain
Thank you Father
You lift me up
You fill my cup
You help me sup
I fail You often
My fall you soften
I wail too often
My fears You crop
My tears You stop
Thank you, Father
... thank you, Father

For Francis - An Ode to Death

Recently, I heard of a friend's death
And was shocked at the heavy blow Death has dealt
Francis was kind and full of mirth
With uncountable gifts under his belt
And even as I didn't really know him
He was one of the few I liked on a whim
Francis was likable and free
Golden rays in dark clouds he made us see
And even as I didn't know him
My loss was deep and grim
Francis was an asset to the fold
But he was caught in Death's embrace - so cold
And even if I'm no stranger to Death
Even if I've supped at the helms of her skirt
You do not know how death feels until she comes for you
You do not know... until she has you

Birthday

Tope says:

A new dawn

A new year, age-borne

A new reminder of another year gone

An anniversary of that morn when I was born

The pain, the knowledge,the secrets I've borne

And I still live on

Albeit many regrets

Witnessing so many deaths

Seeing so much strife

Heart breaks like a thousand stabs from a single knife

Still, all I can do is praise my Creator

Praise my lonely soul's Author

For He's kept me till this moment

Albeit all the despair and torment

He still guides and guards me

His blessings more than the sea

Ignoring all my mistakes

He still soothes all my aches

Giving me solace in stormy weather

Feeding me like He does birds of the Aether

All I can do is glorify Him

And although, so gentle and righteous I may seem

A sinner I am in His Holy Presence

With mangled thoughts from a gangrene festooned mind

In me He still finds a loving essence

A wayward lad that gives no mind

A sinful child who seeks favour

And his Father lavishes him with more

As I seek forgiveness do I sin

With a stubborn heart so dark and mean

An heart loath to repent

Buh my Creator dutifully mends my dent

Now a New Era's come with this year

May all this poor sinner's desires be met

To my pleas may God lend an Ear

Now my stage's set

My dice are cast

And I need good changes set in fast

In Joy,Glory,Mercy and Blessings shall I bask

May I be granted all good I ask

Plenty pay for little tasks

lightening fast strikes against enemy barks

All these I desire oh Lord

Grant them to me with the force of an everlasting flood

Amen

Dead Hope

Tope says:

Lying on the bare stone floor

Crickets chirping at the door

Rats racing across his legs

squabbling over remnants and dregs

Now he looks up to the ceiling

His vision filled with a rain soaked decking

Sagging, held only by mere paint

As all hope seems so faint

Mosquitoes buzzing around his head like a troublesome halo

He tries to weep but his tear sacs are shallow

As the hurt drills into his bone marrow

This day shall never leave his memory

The pain,the hurt,the let down's so gory

The heat smothering him like a special hell

He can barely breath, talkless yell

As sleep eludes his hard locked eyes

His heart beats a staccato like hammer on ice

As he ponders, why he was born this way

From hand to mouth like a deranged pauper

As to him,only shelter holds sway

A warm bed and sheets are a tall order

As far fetched as a flying tower

So he sleeps wherever night meets him

And hope the vigilante don't go on a searching spree

And he lays him down to rest

Lying in a position that suits him best

As sleep eludes his weary eyes

He feels the Fates play his life at a game of dice

As hope escapes him day by day

He still looks up to search for the golden ray

For he knows, come what may

One day, he shall have a smooth bed to lay

A cushion to rest upon

Hot food in the early morn

A toilet to defaecate

His personal tub to have a refreshing bath

He knows, come what may

This hardship shall have a reprieve

This hollow in his heart shall one day leave

As his wealth grows, his spirit glows

He knows this hardship will become mirth

As he lays him down and his breathing slows

He knows hardship isn't a curse from birth

He knows it won't continue to his death

Now, his eyes droop in heavy slumber

As he takes a last breath and passes on yonder

Not far

You're just a stone-throw away,

But you seem so far away

A distance of classes

But as fragile as blown glasses

For although you're richer

And your social statute higher

I believe love doesn't care

As long as that feeling's there

Thus, I do not fear

As long as you do really care

Of heartbreaks I've had my share

And I believe the same goes for you as well

That you don't trust men I can tell

But I say give me that chance

To be the Prince bearing that lance

Your knight in shiny armour

Always there for you in times of clamour

Yet, even if we're just inches apart

There seems to be this abyss between us

That keeps your wariness alert

Like the hundred-eyed Argus

For even if I eternally play my part

Love needs two to make a clear start

And like a lullaby in a maelstrom

One voice isn't enough to overcome the storm

I know you see the warmth in my eyes

And I pray it melts that heart carved of ice

For without your love, the world is full of lies

Without you my happiness painfully dies

Even if we're worlds apart

From my heart you shall never depart

A thousand hurts

Tope says:

A thousand miles away from you

His heart's wounds open anew

Festering like a ten day old stew

Scalding like a bath of hot brew

A thousand drop of tears

Falling off his face down his hairs

As he lies on his back

Wishing feverishly that you come back

A thousand pin pricks to his heart

Agony growing like cantankerous wart

As he hurts himself, knowing you will not return

Knowing you might as well be in the sun

A thousand pints of blood from his bladder

As he stabs himself with a dagger

Self-hatred causing him nausea

As it washes over him like a mad river

A thousand woeful words to himself from his mouth

As he feels his spirit going south

As he wishes he could hold you once more

To cure his soul's self-caused sore

A thousand sighs of eternal unrest

As he knows that he never did his best

In his bid to have you back

In his trial to re-ignite that spark

A thousand horrors in Hades

As he's being tormented by shades

Seeing images of all those ladies

Pages turn and all he does is say these,

''I still love her to the depths of hell''

''And I know even Hades can tell'' 

Join you in Hell

Tope says:

Like a spear skewering through me

Like poison dowsed in my tea

The pain of your loss slowly kills me

 I look inside of me and all I see is a looming death from pain of loss

A wish that my untimely end would reunite us

I do not care if you now reside in the depths of Hades

It concerns me not if you now dwell with dark Shades

I want to be where you are

Cos you're my life, my brightest star

I think of death everyday

Cos to me, It is a promising golden ray

And I wait for that loving fateful day

When It comes to spirit me away

Away from this jejune world to you

Away to your welcome embrace

So we can start our love anew

And be together until the end of days

I've got to take a bow

Tope says:

I'm in love with her
but I know there's someone better
better not for me but for her
there's someone out there
that's better than me
someone who's ready to shower her care
who loves her more than love could be
someone who holds her dear
who's ready to face her every fear
I'm in love with her
but my love is behind bars
lock down by a love that's stronger
a love clearly written with stars
And I do not dare contest
cos his will always come out best
How I love her so
but I can't help but to let her go
I know she at least likes me too
but she doesn't have a clue
she doesn't know how strong his love is
his feelings will uproot trees
his heart as strong as a meteor
he loves her to the core
his love is so much more
compared, mine is a bore
I've got to take a bow

April's Fool

Tope says:

April's fool is a fool for only a day
For only the first day of the fourth month
People trick the side of you that's true and gay
They pull on you stupid stunts
But it's only for that one day alone
Do not complain, do not groan
It's a day of celebration and being carefree
When you dump your worries and become a baby
It's April Fool's Day and you just go on
Go on enjoying till all your hindrances are gone
Play like that day when you were born
For truly we're all fools from the start at heart
To worries, be as blind as a bat
For we truly rarely notice what matters
We're like sheep being led to our slaughters
So why don't we just frolic in the gutters?
Why don't we just build castles in muddy waters?
We have more years to work than to relax
This day ,then, why not relinquish the grueling tax?
Why not just lie under the sun and bask?
Why not put the problems away for once, I ask?
It's April Fool's Day and I chuck problems away
On this day, I enjoy and keep tasks at bay.

What do I care?

Tope says:

Why should I care?
cos when I needed you you weren't there
and you just don't dear
to come around and call your dear
cos I swear
You're to me naught but a memory
naught to me to a figment in my story
cos I forget bad memories like you
thinking of them breaks my heart anew
and I cannot face multiple pain
I just do not care to face you
cos what's the gain?
what's the gain in loving you anew?
but to have my heart broken again
what gain would I have?
When you resunder my heart in half
it's only pain tenfold
pain greater than that of old
Why should I want you back?
when you ways are so ugly and dark
Why should I cut you some slack?
When you heart is grotesque and black
the blood in your veins as murky as tar
the thoughts in your mind............
Seeing them could make one blind
Why should I love someone like you again?
when I know my heart'd be slain again
I'd rather let myself be drowned in acid rain
than let myself die by the strangle of your chain